Yesterday my mom and I took Kaylee out to her office to weigh and measure her. She was 11lbs 8oz at her 4 month appointment, so I was guessing she'd be somewhere in the 13 pound range. Actually, Mike and I put an over/under bet on it...I guess over 13, he took the under. Imagine my surprise when the little girlie weighed in at 14lbs 6oz. She's huge!!! Kaylee gained nearly 3 pounds in one month. Not only that, but my mom plotted her on a growth curve, and she's now at the 25th percentile (up from the 9th percentile at 4 months). Wowza!!!
I'm so happy that she's growing so well now. I was so worried there for a while when nursing wasn't working and she was only gain 3 or 4 ounces a week. I dare say she's making up for lost time.
29 March 2010
26 March 2010
5 Months
Dear Darling Littlest Love,
You are 5 months old today and growing so much! I can hardly wait to spend time with you every day and see what new things you have in store for me!
You still have the greatest smile and are now starting to laugh a little bit more often. Boy howdy, though...you make us work for those giggles! You're also moving past a little quiet stage and starting to talk more again. It seems like you make new noises all the time!
You still aren't a fan of tummy time and show very little interest in rolling. At first, I wanted to be worried about this, but I think maybe you'll just skip rolling. Who needs it!? You're working so hard on sitting up, but love love love to stand. You stand holding our hands or leaning up against something...doesn't matter, as long as you're standing, you're happy. I love it when your little legs start to get tired and wobble all over the place.
You love your bottles, but are starting to fight us a little bit. I think you're just so curious about the bottle and our hands, but you end up pushing the bottle away and making a huge mess. It's not unusual for Daddy and me to hold your hands down while we're feeding you. Poor baby! You're also getting to be a champ with baby cereal. I really think you like it and can't wait to try out some vegetables in a few weeks. What a big girl!!!
You make us so happy and add so much to our lives. While I can barely remember life without you, it seems like just yesterday that we were still in the hospital, meeting you for the first time. I love you Kaylee!!!
Your Mommy
You are 5 months old today and growing so much! I can hardly wait to spend time with you every day and see what new things you have in store for me!
You still have the greatest smile and are now starting to laugh a little bit more often. Boy howdy, though...you make us work for those giggles! You're also moving past a little quiet stage and starting to talk more again. It seems like you make new noises all the time!
You still aren't a fan of tummy time and show very little interest in rolling. At first, I wanted to be worried about this, but I think maybe you'll just skip rolling. Who needs it!? You're working so hard on sitting up, but love love love to stand. You stand holding our hands or leaning up against something...doesn't matter, as long as you're standing, you're happy. I love it when your little legs start to get tired and wobble all over the place.
You love your bottles, but are starting to fight us a little bit. I think you're just so curious about the bottle and our hands, but you end up pushing the bottle away and making a huge mess. It's not unusual for Daddy and me to hold your hands down while we're feeding you. Poor baby! You're also getting to be a champ with baby cereal. I really think you like it and can't wait to try out some vegetables in a few weeks. What a big girl!!!
You make us so happy and add so much to our lives. While I can barely remember life without you, it seems like just yesterday that we were still in the hospital, meeting you for the first time. I love you Kaylee!!!
Your Mommy
24 March 2010
Reading to Kaylee
I'll be honest from the start here...we do not read to Kaylee nearly as much as we ought to. I would say that I read to her several (3-5) times a week. I don't think that's too bad, especially considering that she's so young and would much rather shove the book in her mouth than hear me read it.Right now, though, my favorite book to read to her is I Love You Because You're You. It's a little fox mommy and child and talks about different emotions and such...the final page saying,
I love you any way you feel,
No matter what you do
I love you any way you are,
I love you because you're you.
It's just so so sweet and I love the way it rhymes so nicely. Mike has been making fun of me, though, because I have the entire book slightly memorized. I guess I just hope that some day, Kaylee will have it memorized too.
23 March 2010
More Food...
Last night Kaylee had cereal for the second time. She took 1 tbsp. of rice cereal mixed with approximately 1oz of formula...a consistency slightly thinner than applesauce. I know it was only our second try, but I think she's starting to get the picture. When I would move the spoon towards her, she would grab my hand and pull a little. She also started to open her mouth in anticipation, but just barely. She hasn't quite got the wide-mouth little baby bird thing going yet, but it's early. Tonight I'm going to let Mike try feeding her. :)
So here's my plan for food in Kaylee's diet...
Week 1 (3/21-27) - cereal once a day in the evening
Week 2 (3/28-4/3) - cereal twice a day; once at childcare, once in the evening
Week 3 (4/4-10) - cereal twice a day at childcare, vegetables once a day in the evening
We'll maybe stick with the Week 3 plan for a while (I want to be the one to introduce new foods), until she's tried a few different veggies. Again, this is just a rough plan. You know what they say about the best laid plans...
So here's my plan for food in Kaylee's diet...
Week 1 (3/21-27) - cereal once a day in the evening
Week 2 (3/28-4/3) - cereal twice a day; once at childcare, once in the evening
Week 3 (4/4-10) - cereal twice a day at childcare, vegetables once a day in the evening
We'll maybe stick with the Week 3 plan for a while (I want to be the one to introduce new foods), until she's tried a few different veggies. Again, this is just a rough plan. You know what they say about the best laid plans...
22 March 2010
Food!!!
Yesterday we let Miss Kaylee try baby cereal for the first time. It was a mess, but I think she liked it and ate every bit. Please ignore our conversation in the background...yes, I admit it...I had to google the cup:gallon conversion.
19 March 2010
And It's Over...
I did not pump today.
I knew the day was coming, but I never made the conscious decision for today to be the day. I got Kaylee and Mike up and around like every other day and went into the kitchen to grab my pump parts. I didn't have any clean parts and the sink was full of dishes. Yes, I could have taken the time to partially empty the sink and wash up my pump parts, but really? Is it really worth it? For the last several days, I've been pumping for 15 minutes to yield less than an ounce. Is it really worth it?
We have 8oz of frozen milk. Kaylee will get four more nighttime bottles with some breast milk mixed in. That's it. It's done.
Like I said, I knew it was coming and I know that the pumping was almost pointless, but I didn't expect to be as sad as I am. If I could have any wish right now, it would be to be able to nurse my baby and give her the nutrients that she needs. To hold her close and know that I am giving her a part of myself to help her grow. I guess I just have to know in my heart that I have done the absolute best I could. I love my baby girl and I will continue to make the best choices I can for her. She will drink formula and (soon) eat baby food and grow and learn and be the center of our little world.
I knew the day was coming, but I never made the conscious decision for today to be the day. I got Kaylee and Mike up and around like every other day and went into the kitchen to grab my pump parts. I didn't have any clean parts and the sink was full of dishes. Yes, I could have taken the time to partially empty the sink and wash up my pump parts, but really? Is it really worth it? For the last several days, I've been pumping for 15 minutes to yield less than an ounce. Is it really worth it?
We have 8oz of frozen milk. Kaylee will get four more nighttime bottles with some breast milk mixed in. That's it. It's done.
Like I said, I knew it was coming and I know that the pumping was almost pointless, but I didn't expect to be as sad as I am. If I could have any wish right now, it would be to be able to nurse my baby and give her the nutrients that she needs. To hold her close and know that I am giving her a part of myself to help her grow. I guess I just have to know in my heart that I have done the absolute best I could. I love my baby girl and I will continue to make the best choices I can for her. She will drink formula and (soon) eat baby food and grow and learn and be the center of our little world.
13 March 2010
This Time Last Year...
One year ago today two little pink lines changed my life. I have never known more joy or love than I do right now.
08 March 2010
What's Best
I'm not quite sure how this post is going to go. I feel like I'm in a tough spot where I don't know what I'm thinking or feeling. I guess I'll just type it out and see what happens...
I had always planned to breastfeed my babies. I knew all the research and could wax poetic about why breastfeeding is best on so many levels. I planned to nurse my child within the first several moments of her life and continue doing so for up to a year. I planned to introduce a bottle for use at childcare and the occasional daddy-feeding. I planned to nurse, pump, and save a ton of money during the first year of my child's life.
These plans were derailed early on when Kaylee needed medical attention immediately after birth. Rather than being placed on my chest and having an early try at nursing, she was swept away to the nursery and was put under oxygen. It was eight hours before I would get to hold her and almost twelve hours before we would have a shot at nursing. We struggled and worked with each other to learn how to breastfeed. I finally got to a place where I thought we were doing well. Kaylee was nursing and acting satisfied, but there was the nagging voice in the back of my mind that kept telling me that she wasn't gaining enough weight.
At three months, I had to stop trying to ignore this nagging voice when our doctor said the same thing. For some reason, Kaylee wasn't able to transfer enough milk through nursing to gain the weight that she should have been. That was the beginning of the end of nursing for us.
I mourned this for several days. I felt like a failure for not being able to nourish my child. I would sit with my pump while Mike gave Kaylee a bottle and cry for the moments that I wasn't spending with her in my arms. Slowly, my supply decreased and Kaylee's diet contained more and more formula and less and less breast milk.
Right now, Kaylee gets straight formula during the day and half formula/half breast milk in the evening. I pump twice a day and get anywhere from 1.5 to 3 ounces at a time. Something important has happened, though. Somewhere in the last month, I stopped mourning and started to accept this new plan. Kaylee went from the 3rd percentile in weight at three months to the 9th percentile for weight at four months. She is growing and learning and happy and so so beautiful. Even though I know all the facts about breast milk and nursing, I am damn proud to say that my daughter is formula fed and thriving. I had to make a choice about what was best for my child and my family and this time, it happened to be formula.
I talk with a lot of moms of infants and read a lot of articles about what moms are doing with their children. Let me tell you something...there are some pretty damn self-righteous ladies out there. I have read time and time again about how breast milk is the only good choice for babies and formula is detrimental and considered the easy way out. I have read that mothers who think they can't breastfeed only reach that conclusion because they're uninformed and ill-supported. I have read that mothers who drink and smoke yet breastfeed are making better choices than a clean, sober mom who uses formula.
So here I am. In just over four months I have made the journey from someone to planned to exclusively breastfeed to someone who is fighting to be respected for formula feeding. I guess, all in all, my message is that mothers who are able to exclusively breastfeed do not have the market on doing what is best for their children.
I had always planned to breastfeed my babies. I knew all the research and could wax poetic about why breastfeeding is best on so many levels. I planned to nurse my child within the first several moments of her life and continue doing so for up to a year. I planned to introduce a bottle for use at childcare and the occasional daddy-feeding. I planned to nurse, pump, and save a ton of money during the first year of my child's life.
These plans were derailed early on when Kaylee needed medical attention immediately after birth. Rather than being placed on my chest and having an early try at nursing, she was swept away to the nursery and was put under oxygen. It was eight hours before I would get to hold her and almost twelve hours before we would have a shot at nursing. We struggled and worked with each other to learn how to breastfeed. I finally got to a place where I thought we were doing well. Kaylee was nursing and acting satisfied, but there was the nagging voice in the back of my mind that kept telling me that she wasn't gaining enough weight.
At three months, I had to stop trying to ignore this nagging voice when our doctor said the same thing. For some reason, Kaylee wasn't able to transfer enough milk through nursing to gain the weight that she should have been. That was the beginning of the end of nursing for us.
I mourned this for several days. I felt like a failure for not being able to nourish my child. I would sit with my pump while Mike gave Kaylee a bottle and cry for the moments that I wasn't spending with her in my arms. Slowly, my supply decreased and Kaylee's diet contained more and more formula and less and less breast milk.
Right now, Kaylee gets straight formula during the day and half formula/half breast milk in the evening. I pump twice a day and get anywhere from 1.5 to 3 ounces at a time. Something important has happened, though. Somewhere in the last month, I stopped mourning and started to accept this new plan. Kaylee went from the 3rd percentile in weight at three months to the 9th percentile for weight at four months. She is growing and learning and happy and so so beautiful. Even though I know all the facts about breast milk and nursing, I am damn proud to say that my daughter is formula fed and thriving. I had to make a choice about what was best for my child and my family and this time, it happened to be formula.
I talk with a lot of moms of infants and read a lot of articles about what moms are doing with their children. Let me tell you something...there are some pretty damn self-righteous ladies out there. I have read time and time again about how breast milk is the only good choice for babies and formula is detrimental and considered the easy way out. I have read that mothers who think they can't breastfeed only reach that conclusion because they're uninformed and ill-supported. I have read that mothers who drink and smoke yet breastfeed are making better choices than a clean, sober mom who uses formula.
So here I am. In just over four months I have made the journey from someone to planned to exclusively breastfeed to someone who is fighting to be respected for formula feeding. I guess, all in all, my message is that mothers who are able to exclusively breastfeed do not have the market on doing what is best for their children.
05 March 2010
Congestion
Kaylee and I are both sick. We both have a cold with stuffy noses. She is dealing with her cold far more gracefully than I am. I had been attacking her with saline drops and the booger sucker every couple hours, but then I realized that her cold is bothering me more than it is her. She's eating, she's sleeping, she's playing, she's smiling...I'm the one that's been freaking out. I would just really like to nip this little bug in the bud before it gets worse.
02 March 2010
Laughing
Kaylee finally blessed me with her darling little laugh this last weekend. I love it!!! We had been trying to get her to laugh using toys and things that make all sort of noises, but that didn't work. I had to just sit with her, face to face, and make a complete jack @$$ of myself....making all kinds of noises and goofy faces finally paid off. The only bad part is, I get so tickled by her laugh that I start squealing and giggling and that freaks her out a little bit. My next trick is to learn to act cool, like I don't care if she's laughing or not. I love this baby!!!
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