Holy Cow I Need to Post More Often!!!

Kaylee is now in week 2 of childcare. We love our provider and I'm happy to say that she understands how a mommy's brain works. She texted me midway through Kaylee's first day to tell me that things were going well and yesterday she sent me a picture of Kaylee on my phone. I love it.

Kaylee cried upon being dropped off for the first three days. This surprised me. I guess I thought that three months was too young for a baby to show a real preference for her parents. I would have thought that as long as her needs were being met, she would be fine. Kaylee never ceases to amaze me. By Thursday, she seemed to settle in and didn't cry as much when Mike left her. I kept her with me on Friday, but it didn't seem to mess her up as she was a dream for our provider yesterday. My highlight of childcare so far was Thursday when I picked Kaylee up. She was about to get fed and had her face all scrunched up, crying. As soon as she heard my voice...and I mean the second I spoke...her little eyes flew open and the crying stopped. She knew her momma was there!!! Hurrah!!! Mommy FTW!!!

I gotta say it...while I miss seeing my little girl whenever I want to, I'm getting so much more accomplished at work! Much to my chagrin, I'm just not cut out to be a stay-at-home or work-at-home mom.

Three Months Ago

Three months ago I became a momma. After sweating and grunting and breathing and worrying and pushing and crying for nearly 30 hours, my Littlest Love joined our family.

These three months have been filled with some of the hardest moments I can remember. Seeing my new little baby swept away before I got to hold her...watching a nurse put an IV in her little hand...endless heel sticks...nursing issues that finally ended with an order to exclusively pump...the list goes on. While there have been tears and sleepless nights, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I am so lucky to be holding the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen. She has my heart. She challenges me to be what I've always known I was made to be...a mommy.

Thank you, Kaylee, for making my dreams come true.

(By the way...I missed taking a picture yesterday. Oops. Possible 360 now.)

Exclusively Pumping

We have been a little bit concerned about Kaylee's weight gain (or lack there of) for some time now. While it's generally expected that babies gain about an ounce a day, Kaylee's only been gaining approximately 3-4 ounces a week. We tried not to get too worked up at first...she was happy after being fed, having more awake/alert time, developing appropriately in all other areas, and she had never lost weight...but we went to the doctor this week.

We went in Thursday and Kaylee weighed in at a whopping 9lbs 8oz. My doctor ordered some blood work on her, just to be sure that she didn't have some sort of problem, and suggested that she might not be getting enough calories. She had us spend the rest of the day Thursday and all day Friday with me pumping and Kaylee getting 4 ounces in a bottle at her feedings. Doing this at home with Mike's support is no problem, but let me tell you, being alone at work on Friday...pain in the ass!!! I got very little accomplished.

We went back to the doctor yesterday morning and Kaylee weighed 9lbs 12oz. She gained 4 ounces in two days! She gained as much in two days as she had been gaining in a week! Wow!!! So...the official order is for me to continue exclusively pumping and giving Kaylee my milk in bottles. I've been given the option to start some medication that may boost my supply, but I'm going to give the pumping a few days to see what happens. We may also cut some of her bottles with a few ounces of formula. It'll make our supply of milk last a little bit longer, and we have some left from when she was born that's about to expire in February.

I'll be honest, I'm pretty sad. Don't get me wrong...I'm so glad that this is going to work and that Kaylee's finally going to get the calories she needs, but I love nursing and hate hate hate pumping. I'm so sad that I can't hold her to me and know that she's getting what she needs. Sometimes I watch Mike feed her while I'm pumping and I get so jealous. That's supposed to be my job. It'll just take some time. Who knows...maybe once I get my supply going a bit more, we can try nursing again. I'm not getting my hopes up, but who knows...

Trying to Laugh

Today Kaylee tried to laugh at me. I was holding her at my desk and tickling her chin. She had a big, open-mouthed grin, and went "huh" several times. It sounded like a grunt, but I know it's the beginning of her little laugh. I can't wait to hear it!

365 Days of Kaylee...Well, Not Quite

You may have noticed a new box at the bottom of the page. This is a photostream of quite possibly the most adorable baby on the planet. My goal was to take a picture of Kaylee at least once a day to add to this set...365 pictures of my baby in 2010. So far, I'm down to a possible 361 pictures. I have missed the following days so far: January 5, 7, 11, and 18. I will update this photostream frequently and keep track of how many and which days I miss. Any bets on how many pictures I'll have by December 31, 2010? I think I'll be super-impressed if I get 350.

Year In Review

I've been seeing a lot of bloggers do sometime similar to what I'm about to attempt. I'll go through 2009 and highlight a few things that happened in my life. This has been a big year, so here I go...

January ~ America welcomed their first African-American President. Mike and I tried a get-healthier plan, but it was fairly short-lived. Oh well.

February ~ Mike and I had an amazing Valentine's Day, which he believes resulting in Miss Kaylee joining our small family. Gwen, my mother-in-law, found out that her cancer had returned and decided that she no longer wanted to fight it. I got my Blackberry.

March ~ We discovered that I was pregnant and I started the very blog you are reading today.

April ~ We gave up and shared our baby secret with our family. We celebrated my dad's 60th birthday with a surprise party. I got to go to Florida for work and also visited my aunt...vomiting on the sidewalk in Orlando was not exactly a high point, but pretty funny all the same.

May ~ We go to see our little one on an impromptu sonogram and finally shared the good news with the world.

June ~ Mike and I went to the Chicago/Earth Wind and Fire concert with his mom and sister. I began to feel the baby move a bit.

July ~ Mike and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. We had another sonogram and found out that we were expecting a healthy, beautiful baby girl. I got to see the Wiggles with my mom and nephews. Mike got to feel Kaylee kick for the first time.

August ~ We ordered the furniture for Kaylee's room. Little did we know what an ordeal that would be. Kaylee began to respond to me poking my belly...interactive fetus.

September ~ Mike and I started our childbirth class at the hospital. We took our annual Labor Day camping trip. I had a wonderful baby shower thrown by my friend Mary and sister-in-law Kris. We went to my 10 year high school reunion that same night. Mike stopped smoking!!!

October ~ We finally got our furniture and put Kaylee's room together. We had another sonogram and finally got to see Kaylee's profile. Kaylee decided to make a surprise appearance at 37 weeks. We finally became a family of 3!!!

November ~ I went through some tough times adapting to life as a mother, but found out that there is support out there. Kaylee got to meet her Grandma Gwen before she passed away. Gwen died two days before Kaylee's original due date. We celebrated our first Thanksgiving with our daughter and without my mother-in-law.

December ~ I celebrated my 29th birthday and continued to adapt to my life as a mommy. Kaylee's first Christmas was marked with a ridiculous snow storm that resulted in our postponing celebrations for a few days. We had a wonderful Christmas lunch of mac-n-cheese and hot dogs with Auntie Miriam.

It's been quite the year. I have to say that I'm glad to welcome a new year and a fresh start.

All Wrapped Up

Kaylee has been going through a new, lovely phase the last few days in which she does not want to be put down. I don't mean 'put down' as in put to bed, but just laid down in any capacity. Let me tell you, this makes getting dressed, going to the bathroom, eating...basically life in general...very difficult.

Enter the moby! I love being able to to wrap her onto my body and go about my day. This way, she is calm and happy, and I have the full use of my hands. Very convenient.